A busted window
A car that doesn't start
A leaking sink
A Torn Mattress
A broken bed frame
All need to be repaired, fixed or replaced.
Did you notice how I didn't mention you?
Not anywhere in that list does it say that YOU a human being need to be repaired, fixed or replaced.
The world is CONSTANTLY telling you, you need to be fixed, you need to change, you have to be happier, you need to be "better", your body needs to be different, you need to be available to others.
BUT WHAT IF NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What if your body, your desires, your emotions were NEVER a problem?
You, me and EVERYONE has been fucking conditioned to be so incredibly obsessed with "healing and fixing" that you get trapped in the becoming your "best" self vortex.
Maybe you've read all the self help books, taken classes, hired a coach, done the therapy. Maybe you've done all the processing. Maybe you've talked about the bad stuff in your life SO MUCH you've become desensitized.
I used to believe that something was always missing. That what I was doing, simply wasn't enough.
That when my intrusive thoughts would come back in, it meant there was something wrong with me.
When my depressive episodes come and go that I am not "healed enough".
That when things feel difficult it means I'm being too negative.
That when I am having intimate time in my relationships and something triggers me from my past sexual assaults.
That largely stopped night terrors was and is a small feat.
And here's the thing ALL of these things and more are a part of who I am. And when I try to continually fix them, alter them, change them, the sadder and harder my own life feels.
But when I make SPACE for them, that's where the juicy stuff lives. When I am honest with myself and I meet myself exactly where I am. My life is better when I am ALL OF ME. And you are too.
So heal, make space, use compassion but do not get fixated on fixing yourself. You are not something that needs to be fixed you are whole and complete just as you are.